A friend of mine hit a bad point in life and decided to drop everything and go on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to India to rediscover herself and find her life path once more. She arrived, took a taxi to her first accommodation. Climbed out of the taxi just as a monsoon rain began to pour. A man, elated by the start of the rains, rushed out of his dwelling full of excitement. He swung a chicken, by its feet, around his head like a lasso and let it go.
It hit her in the face, and almost took out her eye. She ended lying on her back in a trough full of shit and had to make her way to the nearest hospital, where she was recommended to go back to the UK to get her eye treated properly. She was there four about 9 hours before she found herself back at the airport trying to blag a ride home. Her bags were never recovered.
She’s one of the most uptight and anxious people I know. She’s always lovely and friendly, but hums with an undercurrent of nervous, stressy anticipation of losing control. So it was really quite prophetic that she would do this totally uncharacteristic thing in an effort, really, to break herself out of who she was. It was like India took one look at her and said ‘You can’t change. You are what you are. Here’s a chicken to prove it, now go home and be yourself’."
- (via data-viitoare)
- Diriye Osman, Fairytales for Lost Children (via ha-n)
We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do.’ Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time.’
“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle … ‘Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went ‘KFHGSKG’ and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!’ If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz.’
- Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm. (via swiftbeat)
- (via data-viitoare)